Monday, February 22, 2010

Americans Humble Uppity Canadians!

Look, some of my best friends are Canadian. I really like Canada. So much so that I chose my ancestors to be from there (I'm half French-Canadian. That would be "Le" Blaiser to vous, buddy.)

But I have to say, when Jamie Salé and David Pelletier were artistically out-skated by the Russians in 2002 at Salt Lake, and then had the gall to ask for a do-over when they didn't get the gold all for themselves, it was as if the entire country jumped the shark and landed with a resounding PLOTZ in the Artic Circle. For me.

I know, I know, I'm bringing a minority opinion here--not many people agreed with the French judge, but sometimes the truth hurts--despite the ensuing brouhaha, if you value artistry over athletic prowess--and what French judge doesn't--then the Russians get it every time. And Canada, not for nothing, but we turn to you for more polite, better-dressed versions of our American selves. If I wanted to see spoiled athletes getting preferential treatment, I needn't look any further than my alma mater, SUNY-Binghamton.

So. Regarding last night's drubbing in Olympic Hockey in Vancouver's ingenuously named Canada Hockey Place, Let's just say our Friends to the North have had this coming for quite some time. Sorry. Yes it had to be your national sport, and on home ice. Don't do it again. Unless you want to come down to Fenway and beat us at baseball.

And you gotta get through 2007 World Series MVP Mike Lowell to do that. Not much stops Senator Lowell--testicular cancer, surgically repaired thumbs, or flaky deals with Texas. Dude also graduated with a 4.0 from high school and wrote a book, which I aim to check out, post haste. How many books has Jamie Salé written that don't have the word "Pouty" in the title. I'm just sayin'.

Thanks for reading, and please remember that just because I finally broke down and got one of those digital cable-box tuner thingys for my TV, it doesn't mean that adult males look cool on Razor Scooters.


  1. What is this hangup Canadians have about not being Americans? And what is this beef Americans have with Canadians. There was this Canadian lady in my class and she was really pissy with me one time because I mentioned something about there being obvious benefits to Canadians aligning themselves with Americans. She was all like "Oh, Canadians will tell you that you're wrong and we're nothing like the Americans." Really? she sure looks like one. Another American professor mistook her once as an American, too. So, why the fuss?

  2. Welllll. Full disclosure -- this post is tongue in cheek. I think my real beef is with the do-over and a sense of entitlement on either side.

    I truly do love Canada, and love that my ancestry lies there. And I do think Americans and Canadians share a mutual jealousy. The stereotype is that Canadians have a massive inferiority complex, and that Americans are the blunt, crass, burping big brothers to the South.

    I love the Olympics, generally hate hockey--it's state-endorsed barbarism--and love to make fun of just about anything.... so consider the above a great big noogie.

    And for the record -- I really do think the Russians skated gold.